Verse 1
Well I'm ripping through my pantry and I'm reading all the cans I need to join the gentry, to be a gentleman
I see vitamins of every letter, some things like thiamin
Well I just got to get better, to get out of this mess I'm in

Chorus
Moral Fiber in the evening, Moral Fiber in the night
I need some moral fiber to whet my appetite
I can hold my pinky out right, Well they say that sure is great But I need some moral fiber on my plate

Verse 2
I was down at a bar room when a gal sits by my side
She asks if I was married, and I certainly could have lied
But I said I was separated; see my wife was back at home
She's in a slightly different zip code, and I just can't be alone

Verse 3
I come home late one evening and I gets me quite a scare
My wife is being beaten by a big old grizzly bear
With my shotgun at the ready, oh that bear will be a splotch
But I hears him yell for mercy, well mercy me I going to watch

Verse 4
I heads down to St. Stephens to change my shameful ways
Weren't too busy on that evening, so I stayed for several days
But on Sunday a Bonanza, when they hands me a golden plate
Can't understand those stanzas, but I still think church is great.